I'll Probably Piss You Off, Too

I don't know how I always manage to offend, but I do. I don't know what I do wrong or why I can't communicate with other people, but somehow I always end up pissing people off. I know I am not perfect; I am human, I have plenty of faults. But I'm a nice person, I'm a caring person; I just don't have it in me to be nasty or rude or mean or deliberately try to piss people off. But it happens all the time, I piss people off all the time, and no matter what the other person's role is in the conflict, there is only one common denominator: me. It's obviously something to do with me. I cannot communicate with people, I feel like I do not belong in society, and I DO NOT KNOW WHY. No one else seems to have this problem, everyone else seems to be able to joke around and have fun and hang out in groups and just have a good time. I don't know why I can't. All I know is every time this happens it just reaffirms something I've long believed: I am not meant to be with other people, I am meant to be alone. I'm certainly not meant to be in a relationship with someone; if I have this much difficulty with friendships can you imagine how I'd be with a significant other?! It's not meant to be, I'm meant to be alone, I will never be married or have a long term relationship, it's just not in the cards. Every time I try to reach out, try to have fun, try to "be normal", it backfires, and I end up with fewer friends than I had going in. I am an incredibly lonely and sad person, and for whatever reason I'm meant to stay that way.

Does anyone else have this much trouble cultivating and maintaining friendships or any kind of human contact? Is it just me? Because with almost 7 billion people in the world it seems impossible that it's just me but it's an awfully isolating life I lead, and I see other people functioning normally all the time, so it feels like it must just be me.

I must be a horrible person to piss people off so much. And I'm not in denial - I really do not know what it is about me that turns people off. It can't be the odd joking smart ass comment; if that was the case I could totally chalk it up to people just being way too damn sensitive and humourless. I really don't know what it is. I kind of wish I did so I could work on it, but I'm way too chicken to ask someone. Besides, how do you have THAT conversation?! "So I notice people tend to dislike me...any ideas?"

Sad, lonely, and a strong belief that I'm a terrible person. What a wonderful way to live.