An Introduction (That Doesn't Really Introduce Anything)

I'm not really looking to be a fantastic writer; in writing this blog I'm not trying to hone my craft or become some sort of writing sensation. I've been out of practice for a long time, and I'm more than a little rusty. What I want to do is just write, without any concern for how it sounds, without trying to craft the perfect sentence (in fact you'll be subjected to more than a few run-on sentences and rambling, seemingly incoherent thoughts.) What I want to do is write about how I lost the ability to write, and about my life with depression and anxiety. These things, as you will find out, are not mutually exclusive; in fact, one is the direct result of the other. And as sad as I am that taking medication for 6 years for my chemical imbalance robbed me of my ability to write, I'm also aware that my chemical imbalance is something that is a part of me, that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, so I better learn to deal with it. You know what else used to be a part of me, just as much as any mental disorders I may have? Writing. Perhaps they can co-exist? Perhaps it doesn't have to be an either/or?

I have a lot to say, but I'll try and let it out slowly, bit by bit, because as eager as I am to start writing again I find the whole thing overwhelming (as I do most things in life.) Maybe one day I can be the writer I once was. Or even better, maybe I can get somewhere new. Maybe I'll learn even more about my disease by sharing this so publicly. Maybe I'm capable of so much more than I ever thought I was. I really do feel like 6 years of medication has done permanent damage to my brain, but maybe it's minimal, maybe I can fight back, maybe I can find something in myself again. Maybe I won't ever be the writer I once was, but I'm happy that I'm going to try.